The Wild World of Weird Beauty Treatments: Because Normal is Overrated

Ever wondered what lengths people will go to achieve flawless skin? Well, buckle up and prepare to be grossed out, fascinated, and perhaps slightly amused by the weirdest, wackiest, and downright bizarre beauty treatments known to humankind. From snail slime to fire facials, here’s a rundown of beauty rituals that make your usual face mask look like a day at the spa.

1. The Snail Crawl Treatment – Snail Facial
No, this isn’t a new reality TV show. The snail facial is exactly what it sounds like: a facial involving snails. And not just any snails—these little guys are coated in a special mucus (aka mucin) that’s said to be a miracle for your skin. Imagine slithering your way to radiant skin while snails do their slow-motion magic on your face. It’s a bit like letting tiny, slow-moving creatures give you a makeover while you lie there thinking, “Is this really happening?”

2. A Slap in the Face – Thai Slap Facial
If you think a gentle pat on the cheek is invigorating, wait until you try the Thai slap facial. It’s a treatment where skilled therapists slap your face with a rhythmic precision that’s as surprising as it sounds. The goal? To improve circulation and make your skin glow. Just remember, if you’re looking for a soothing facial, this isn’t it. But if you’re into the whole “wake up with a red face and questions about your life choices” look, then slap away!

3. Hottest of All Bizarre Beauty Treatments – Fire Facial
Before you imagine yourself as a human torch, let’s clarify: no actual flames should come into contact with your skin. The fire facial involves placing an alcohol-soaked towel on your face and then, yes, setting it alight. The fire is quickly extinguished, leaving behind what some claim to be a rejuvenated, toned face. Just think of it as a beauty treatment that’s literally a hot mess. Safety first, folks!

4. It Might be ‘Fun’ to Try Bird Poop Facial
If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to have bird droppings as a skincare product, wonder no more. The bird poop facial (or more politely, the Nightingale Droppings Facial) uses sanitized bird poop to exfoliate and brighten the skin. The idea is that the enzymes in the droppings help remove dead skin cells and leave you glowing. Because nothing says “luxury” like a bit of avian excrement on your face.

5. The Bizarre Leech Facial
For those who enjoy a bit of live action in their skincare routine, the leech facial is the treatment for you. This involves placing leeches on your face, where they supposedly suck out toxins and improve circulation. Just remember, if you’re not a fan of creepy crawlies, you might want to skip this one. There’s something about a leech on your face that doesn’t scream “relaxation.”

6. An Outlandish Facial Using Snake Venom
If you’ve ever wished your skincare routine was a bit more reptilian, snake venom facials might be right up your alley. These treatments use synthetic snake venom (so no actual snakes are harmed) to create a Botox-like effect on your skin. It’s like having a snake charm your face into looking youthful. Hiss-terically effective!

7. The Dracula-Inspired Beauty Treatment
Known more formally as PRP (Platelet-Rich Plasma) skin rejuvenation, this treatment might sound like it involves a vampire bite, but fear not! Instead, it involves drawing your own blood, spinning it in a centrifuge, and then injecting the plasma back into your skin. It’s like giving your face a pep talk using its own blood. The benefits? Supposedly, it makes your skin look as if Dracula himself had a hand in your beauty regime.

8. Want to Try the Pee-Facial?
Yes, you read that right. Pee-facials involve using your own urine as part of a skincare routine. The idea is that urine contains urea, which is beneficial for the skin. It’s like recycling your own fluids for beauty. We’re not sure what’s more shocking: the idea itself or the fact that some people swear by it.

9. A Safe Black and Yellow Treatment – Bee Sting Facial
For those who love a bit of buzz, the bee sting facial involves applying bee venom to the skin. The venom is said to have anti-aging properties, giving your skin a youthful glow—if you can handle the sting. It’s like getting a tiny bee to perform an impromptu acupuncture session on your face.

10. We Saved the Most Bizarre Beauty Treatment for Last – Foreskin Facial
This one’s for those who are really into high-tech skincare. The foreskin facial, or Epidermal Growth Factor Facial, uses cloned foreskin cells from newborn babies. Celebrities like Sandra Bullock and Oprah are rumored to have tried this treatment. It’s as bizarre as it sounds, but if it works for the stars, who are we to judge?

Other Notable Mentions:
Snail Mucus (Mucin): It’s like letting snails do the dirty work of your skincare routine. Mucin is the slimy substance snails produce that’s said to be great for your skin.
Fish Scales (Guanine): Yes, fish scales are used in some beauty products. It’s like your skincare routine got a little seafood twist.
Ground Pig Placenta: Nothing says “luxury” like using pig placenta as a beauty treatment. It’s like a farm-to-face experience.
Bull Sperm Conditioner: For the bold and adventurous, bull sperm is used in some conditioners. It’s a bit like adding a protein shake to your hair routine.
Hot Buttered V-JayJays: The name might sound like a diner special, but this treatment involves butter for intimate areas. Yes, really.
Gargling Portuguese Urine: The ultimate in odd treatments—gargling urine. Because why not?
In the quest for perfect skin, some of us will try anything. From snails to snake venom, the world of beauty is full of strange and unusual treatments. So, if you’re ever feeling adventurous, remember: there’s a whole world of bizarre beauty rituals out there just waiting for you. And hey, at least it makes for a good story!

Find carefully curated beauty products at: BougieandHealthy.com